Just kidding. I'm not leaving - YET.
But if you keep up with these horrifying "Centipede-in-the-Bathtub" shenanigans, I might have to run screaming back to my home town. You'll know where I am going from the trail of Raid that I leave behind on my way to Boston-Logan Airport, and inside of the 737 that carries me back to Seattle.
I love the fact that you have summers that last more than one month, and I am excited to buy more cashmere for your winter. I love your public transportation, which is head-and-shoulders above that of my hometown. I don't mind that I get mild panic attacks at the thought of driving here at night and/or in traffic!
I even was able to forgive that little earwig on the windowsill this evening, because, hey - even Seattle has those.
BUT.
Don't put 1.5-inch, Feathery, orange, Spawn-of-Satan, Shakes-Inducing bugs in my house!
You have been warned.
Love,
Bethany
PS If you see random spots of powder on my clothes/body, I haven't picked up a nasty habit. It will be the boric acid that I will soon deposit on every surface of my house.
PPS I am seriously considering a cat. Or five.
